I've always thought of myself as a hopeless romantic. Romantic because I've always wanted the fairy tale. And hopeless, because my current track record speaks for itself. And every romantic has something that fuels the fire. Some people it's poetry, photography, or music. For me it's films. And I don't mean movies. If I talked to Dr. Fister about the difference between films and movies, he'd tell me that a film is something that changes you. He'd tell me about Scarface (1932) and how the director takes you into the film with its camera angles. How you end up right where you started. He'd tell me about The Conversation (1974), How Coppola reminds you that its not what people say it's how you hear it and the distinction between listening and talking. In Raging Bull (1980) how it starts off as a ballet... As Dr. Fister once said, "...The screen ought to speak it's own language..."

It does. To each person that sees a film it means something different. I can't personally watch Stepmom with out the hug of a best friend within 3 feet of where I sit. Not because of the acting, hell the daughter sucks. But just watching Susan Sarandon die of a disease that is way too close to home. Films are a form of entertainment that enacts a story by a sequence of images giving the illusion of continuous movement. The key word there is Illusion. I watch films to escape as many others do. Sometimes you have to watch a movie though. A film just won't do the job.

For those days when nothing seems to go right you pop in a movie starring Adam Sandler or Norm MacDonald or Mike Meyers. Something to that effect.

I have friends that could go into serious debate as to why Kate and Leopold is a horrid film. And that is why I love them. But the serious debate stems from the fact that movies are seen through a different set of eyes that have seen so many other things in life.

While I have lived through my father having cancer twice, looking at a casket that has a person younger than myself inside of it. Watching two 110 story buildings that I have been in countless times, that my brother was in twice a day going back and forth to school collapse... While these are depressing things, I've also hugged Stephen Lynch 4 times, molested Hot Gay Danny From Real World New Orleans, cried at a Billy Joel concert, had an amazing 2nd row concert at The Garden with Dave Matthews all by sheer luck, lived in the shadow of the greatest city of the world for 21 years, taught how to type by an angel that walked the earth, finished 3 of 4 years at a college that will give me more that a piece of paper that makes mom happy...

And that’s only within the last 5 years.

Through my eyes I saw Kate & Leopold as another film to add to my list of, "He never called back so Ill sit on the couch with my favorite PJ's and get lost for awhile." It's like going for a walk when there's a Nor'easter outside. My head. It loves to go for runs. Because it loves the chance to think. To have long conversations with myself. And every time I feel surprised. I never realized how badly we needed to talk.

Which leads into my theory of your head versus your heart. These are two different organs with similar functions. Yes I know the heart pumps blood. I’m talking about your figurative heart...

People always say you should follow your heart. As if your brain is just a pile of mush. Think with your heart they say. Why do I take Psychology to understand why people think they way they do when no one takes into account the heart? So I say go to school "learn with your brain” but don't forget your heart, it's what got you where you are now. Follow it. See the world has you fooled, they tell us that you should think with your head. But if you really think about it, your heart sends messages to your brain about what’s going on down there. Sometimes the lines get crossed and your head gets confused. So I say fuck what your brain says, and just follow your heart. It’s the one organ that will surely let you down one day so don’t waste it while you're living.

Maybe I’m just getting too lost in something that makes me happy. but...

" ...Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney." -Kate & Leopold

This is my case as to why I am a hopeless romantic. Because I don't want to be in love. I want to be in love, in a movie. (Sleepless in Seattle)

peace

Current Music:
Alien Ant Farm - Attitude
Cry Like An Angel - Shawn Colvin
Silver Lining - Amanda Ghost
Saints and Sailors - Dashboard Confessional
Howie Day - Slide (Goo Goo Dolls Cover)
John Mayer - Love Song For No One (My new anthem)
Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell
Leigh Nash - Need to Be Next To You (Bounce Soundtrack)
Tenderness On The Block - Shawn Colvin
Sister Hazel - Running Through The Fields
The Push Stars - Wild Irish Rose (it’s a beautiful song about a stripper)
Alison Kraus - When You Say nothing At All
Wallflowers - Heros
Beth - Kiss
My Stupid Mouth - John Mayer
Color Blind - Counting Crows

Well this did take me quite some time to write this all down...