I've been fooling around with Photoshop to spruce up the old site here. So far so good. Here's what I've done so far...
1) changed the template
2) Expanded the background image so that the text does not overlap the flare in the image.
3) Not only expanded the background, but changed the sides a bit. How I heart you cloning tool!
Next up...
1) Fix the banner at the top that announces the blog. I got as far as making it as wide as I'd like it to be and centering the text. Now I just have to figure out how to blend the sides into the banner.
Also, if you want to read what's going on in the life of The D, then check out this. Chris wrote about the experience better than I ever could, although he neglected to mention that I thought the dude in the street was a tiger at first.
That's all for now, I have the energy to clean up the space I reside in, so I'm gunna use it all up.
peace.
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Now playing: Dave Matthews Band - Grey Street
via FoxyTunes
"She feels like kicking out all the windows and setting fire to this life. She could change everything about her using colors bold and bright."
5.04.2008
2.22.2008
I'm not entirely sure if I could possibly be happier than I am in this very moment.
The "X" with the circle around it where I reside these days. And I really couldn't be happier that the place that I call home is currently being blanketed with a billion tiny diamonds to make my world more beautiful than it has ever been.
When I was five, I had a really bad ear infection, and I had been home in bed for a week. And I was very sad. So I wished really hard that something wonderful would happen to me. And I woke up the next morning… and it had snowed. And I was sure some fairy godmother had done it just for me. It was my little present. Sure, many years later, I realized that the snow wasn't there just for me. But whenever I see snow, I think it's a gift for me. I don't think that will ever change.
peace...
Current Music: " You don't need to change a thing about you babe. I'm telling you from where I sit you're one of a kind." - Griffin House The Guy That Says Goodbye to You Is Out of His Mind
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Now playing: Griffin House - The Guy That Says Goodbye to You Is Out of His Mind
via FoxyTunes
9.06.2005
why is it, that days where I found out that people had Cancer I was a rock? I stood my ground, I knew how to cope, how to deal.
but days like today when I feel like no one respects me at my job, I get a ton of things thrown at me, i weaken. I start to falter. I start to question who i am. I start to wonder if I can actually do this. No one seems to remember that I am not trained for this job. That i was supposed to be a temporary replacement. A band-aid for the situation. But instead it's 2 years later and all i've gained is the fact that I like teaching.
I have good days. I have days where I can't imagine being anywhere else. Then I have days like today where it seems like everything goes wrong. I have gotten 4 emails from my boss today pointing out my faults. TODAY. I'm really starting to butt heads with people too. Most of the people I work with are Type A's. They stress out about getting it all done, and in the process stress others out too. Such as myself. I can't believe I'm actually crying as I type this. It's so ridiculous. I think i'm more mad than anything. Im mad that people like them can get to me in such a way that they question who I am. I'm mad that I didn't get my shit together in time to get back to school. I'm mad that I'm alone. I'm mad that I live with my parents. I'm made that the two people that can make me feel better right now live 7 hours away by car and the other is 8 hours away by plane.
Right now I'm talking to a friend online about how much I miss her and how much I wish she was still around, but when she asks why im scared to tell her cause that will ruin the image of me as a person of strength to her.
i feel like im having a nervous breakdown or something and i hate it. i hate that im losing myself that im losing who i am. i was just getting comfortable in my own skin. it only took me 24 years.
i miss my friends, i miss what i had. i miss what was good. i miss knowing who i am. at the end of the day no matter what happened i knew i had my family, my friends and most of all myself.
sometimes i wish something terrible would happen to me.
I know i should really just suck it up, because my job isnt that important. Im not that important. I was told once that i could be replaced in 12 hours. After all thats all it took to replace my predecessor.
I hate that just because shes skinny and I'm not, I become the friend and she becomes the girlfriend. He and I both know that I'm the better catch, and yet I ALWAYS LOSE.
I love my life. I love the fact that i can write this. I love the fact that i have a roof over my head, with parents who drive me crazy, but at the end of the day would do anything for me. I love the fact that on saturday two of my favorite people in the whole world are marrying each other. I love that that gives me hope. but i hate that somedays hope is all i have and that i feel like thats all im gunna have. i hate that i have hate in my vocabulary right now.
i love the fact that im about to go to bed. and that it's with one of the things in life that brings me great joy... Adam Carolla. and i love that i wrote this all out rather than keeping it to myself. Fuck you depression. I will kick your ass.
plus new tv shows start next week. so I can finally have my Gilmore fix. Oh and Ben & Felicity got together today on Felicity on the WE channel. So all in all, it wasn't a complete waste of a day.
Peace... I'll get it back soon enough.
Current music: Death Cab For Cutie - Soul Meets Body
"And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes"
but days like today when I feel like no one respects me at my job, I get a ton of things thrown at me, i weaken. I start to falter. I start to question who i am. I start to wonder if I can actually do this. No one seems to remember that I am not trained for this job. That i was supposed to be a temporary replacement. A band-aid for the situation. But instead it's 2 years later and all i've gained is the fact that I like teaching.
I have good days. I have days where I can't imagine being anywhere else. Then I have days like today where it seems like everything goes wrong. I have gotten 4 emails from my boss today pointing out my faults. TODAY. I'm really starting to butt heads with people too. Most of the people I work with are Type A's. They stress out about getting it all done, and in the process stress others out too. Such as myself. I can't believe I'm actually crying as I type this. It's so ridiculous. I think i'm more mad than anything. Im mad that people like them can get to me in such a way that they question who I am. I'm mad that I didn't get my shit together in time to get back to school. I'm mad that I'm alone. I'm mad that I live with my parents. I'm made that the two people that can make me feel better right now live 7 hours away by car and the other is 8 hours away by plane.
Right now I'm talking to a friend online about how much I miss her and how much I wish she was still around, but when she asks why im scared to tell her cause that will ruin the image of me as a person of strength to her.
i feel like im having a nervous breakdown or something and i hate it. i hate that im losing myself that im losing who i am. i was just getting comfortable in my own skin. it only took me 24 years.
i miss my friends, i miss what i had. i miss what was good. i miss knowing who i am. at the end of the day no matter what happened i knew i had my family, my friends and most of all myself.
sometimes i wish something terrible would happen to me.
I know i should really just suck it up, because my job isnt that important. Im not that important. I was told once that i could be replaced in 12 hours. After all thats all it took to replace my predecessor.
I hate that just because shes skinny and I'm not, I become the friend and she becomes the girlfriend. He and I both know that I'm the better catch, and yet I ALWAYS LOSE.
I love my life. I love the fact that i can write this. I love the fact that i have a roof over my head, with parents who drive me crazy, but at the end of the day would do anything for me. I love the fact that on saturday two of my favorite people in the whole world are marrying each other. I love that that gives me hope. but i hate that somedays hope is all i have and that i feel like thats all im gunna have. i hate that i have hate in my vocabulary right now.
i love the fact that im about to go to bed. and that it's with one of the things in life that brings me great joy... Adam Carolla. and i love that i wrote this all out rather than keeping it to myself. Fuck you depression. I will kick your ass.
plus new tv shows start next week. so I can finally have my Gilmore fix. Oh and Ben & Felicity got together today on Felicity on the WE channel. So all in all, it wasn't a complete waste of a day.
Peace... I'll get it back soon enough.
Current music: Death Cab For Cutie - Soul Meets Body
"And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes"
8.28.2005
Today was rough
Today was rough.
I woke up and felt out of it instantly. Not to mention the fact that my Dad had to wake me up so getting up for work this week might actually happen. Summer's off are great, until you have to go back to work. So not looking forward to Wednesday.
On Friday I attended a funeral for the Husband of a Co-worker. It was sad. I had never met her Husband, but I knew how great a man he was simply by knowing his wife. After the Funeral I had a great post worked out in my head, but it never made it to the computer. Someday I'm sure it will.
Last week was Grama's birthday. She's 88. She fell not too long ago and hurt her head. She was always so lucid and with it. She was in great shape for a woman in her 80's. She lived in Florida for 30 years. And she lived in Florida by herself for 5 years after my Grampa died. But today while we had dinner in our kitchen, her stories were fragmented, and her statements didn't always make sense. She had MRI's taken of her brain, and Pops takes her to the same Doctor Allison went to for her spinal MRI's tomorrow. It's just really sad. This is the part I wasn't looking forward to when Mom and Pops told us that Grama would be moving to an Assisted Living facility nearby. I hate that I have to watch it end. I know I should look at it as a way to spend more time with her, but it still fucking sucks.
Delaware was good times. Got to see the Bro-bro and the other Amber. I got hella sunburned on my legs. The next day I couldn't bend my legs. Today it's as if nothing happened. 2 weeks and all I have to show for it is more freckles. Stupid Pasty White Irish Skin.
I hate being a girl. I'll spare you the details.
I'm off to finish reading "Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story". I dig Chuck Klosterman.
I stink. Seriously. Why Dave wants to have lunch with me tomorrow, I'll never know.
We'll maybe I'll know. Probably tomorrow around lunch time, when I see him. We're going to a Thai food place near his work. I'm a little nervous to go. The last time I had Thai food I was with my best friends in New Haven, not with a man that I professed my love to Freshman year of college. Maybe that's why when he asked me out to lunch in May I kept coming up with excuses.
The First Amber, aka Wifey, said something the last time we saw each other that got to me.
I was in New Hampshire for a get-together and talking to Leslie, a girl I had just met earlier that evening. She was talking to me about how her male best friend threw her for a loop the other night. She frequently sleeps over at his place, in his bed. But the other night, she woke up and he was spooning her. A first. She was asking me what she should do. I started asking her all the important questions... "Have you said anything to him?" "Did you want it to happen? Would you want it to happen again?" "Are you attracted to him?" "Were you scared because you didn't know what it meant or that you really liked it?"
To which, Wifey yells in from the other room:
Moral of the story: When it comes to other people and their shiz, I'm a friggin genius. When it comes to my own shiz, I'm an idiot.
Its so true it scares the crap out of me. Well I'm going to lunch with Dave tomorrow. I'm still nervous, but that didn't stop me the other times we hung out. But this time DJ Jazzy Jeff the dog won't be there to help me out. (I was dog sitting a cockapoo named Jazz the last time we hung out)
Ok I'm really going now. I have 100 pages left in that book, and I want to finish it before I start work again.
Peace...
Current Music: Lee Ann Womak - He Oughta Know That By Now
"It's not like he's gotta read my mind to know what I'm feelin' after all this time"
I woke up and felt out of it instantly. Not to mention the fact that my Dad had to wake me up so getting up for work this week might actually happen. Summer's off are great, until you have to go back to work. So not looking forward to Wednesday.
On Friday I attended a funeral for the Husband of a Co-worker. It was sad. I had never met her Husband, but I knew how great a man he was simply by knowing his wife. After the Funeral I had a great post worked out in my head, but it never made it to the computer. Someday I'm sure it will.
Last week was Grama's birthday. She's 88. She fell not too long ago and hurt her head. She was always so lucid and with it. She was in great shape for a woman in her 80's. She lived in Florida for 30 years. And she lived in Florida by herself for 5 years after my Grampa died. But today while we had dinner in our kitchen, her stories were fragmented, and her statements didn't always make sense. She had MRI's taken of her brain, and Pops takes her to the same Doctor Allison went to for her spinal MRI's tomorrow. It's just really sad. This is the part I wasn't looking forward to when Mom and Pops told us that Grama would be moving to an Assisted Living facility nearby. I hate that I have to watch it end. I know I should look at it as a way to spend more time with her, but it still fucking sucks.
Delaware was good times. Got to see the Bro-bro and the other Amber. I got hella sunburned on my legs. The next day I couldn't bend my legs. Today it's as if nothing happened. 2 weeks and all I have to show for it is more freckles. Stupid Pasty White Irish Skin.
I hate being a girl. I'll spare you the details.
I'm off to finish reading "Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story". I dig Chuck Klosterman.
I stink. Seriously. Why Dave wants to have lunch with me tomorrow, I'll never know.
We'll maybe I'll know. Probably tomorrow around lunch time, when I see him. We're going to a Thai food place near his work. I'm a little nervous to go. The last time I had Thai food I was with my best friends in New Haven, not with a man that I professed my love to Freshman year of college. Maybe that's why when he asked me out to lunch in May I kept coming up with excuses.
The First Amber, aka Wifey, said something the last time we saw each other that got to me.
I was in New Hampshire for a get-together and talking to Leslie, a girl I had just met earlier that evening. She was talking to me about how her male best friend threw her for a loop the other night. She frequently sleeps over at his place, in his bed. But the other night, she woke up and he was spooning her. A first. She was asking me what she should do. I started asking her all the important questions... "Have you said anything to him?" "Did you want it to happen? Would you want it to happen again?" "Are you attracted to him?" "Were you scared because you didn't know what it meant or that you really liked it?"
To which, Wifey yells in from the other room:
"Leslie. She'll give you the best advice, but she'll never listen to herself."SWEET JESUS! My Wifey knows me way too well.
Moral of the story: When it comes to other people and their shiz, I'm a friggin genius. When it comes to my own shiz, I'm an idiot.
Its so true it scares the crap out of me. Well I'm going to lunch with Dave tomorrow. I'm still nervous, but that didn't stop me the other times we hung out. But this time DJ Jazzy Jeff the dog won't be there to help me out. (I was dog sitting a cockapoo named Jazz the last time we hung out)
Ok I'm really going now. I have 100 pages left in that book, and I want to finish it before I start work again.
Peace...
Current Music: Lee Ann Womak - He Oughta Know That By Now
"It's not like he's gotta read my mind to know what I'm feelin' after all this time"
8.15.2005
I'm the one they call Doctor Feelgood...
So I'm awake waaaay earlier that I'd like to be after last evening's events. Last night, myself along with four other hot, hot ladies partook in the action known as: Motley Crue.
I have little to no voice. An incredibly sore throat. A massively filled recycling bin. A heinously dirty blanket. And about 150 photos.
Ill chat more about it when I get back from vacation with the family, but just know that when we made a bathroom trip, a lady gave us two seats to the 6th row. (The photo is from the 6th row) From the lawn to the 6th row. Sooo sweet.
The last time Margie and I went to a concert together we went from section 412 at the Garden to second row floor. I think its the combo of the two of us. And it will happen again. And to the woman who gave us her VIP seats... THANK YOU! Feel free to call us anytime to take those sweet tickets off your hands.
I'm writing some stuff over at Chrisboylan.com so go over read, love, and post comments.
I'm off to pack, then making the four hour trip to Delawhere? HAHAHA. No really. A good 4 days on the beach with no email access. Now that's a vacation.
Peace...
Current Music: Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home
"You know I'm a dreamer, but my heart's of gold. I had to run away high so I wouldn't come home low. Just when the things weren't right doesn't mean they were always wrong. Just take this song and you'll never feel left all alone."